Middle Schoolers

Today, I discovered Middle Schoolers.  I've known many middle schoolers throughout my life. Most of them I knew when I, myself, was in middle school.  And then at some point I'm pretty sure my siblings were in middle school. So I've known middle schoolers, but I had never really seen (as an outsider) a mighty band of middle schoolers before today.

Today, was the second day of school apparently.  And the Speech-Language Pathologist's (SLP=what I am, I guess) job during the first few weeks of school to provide hearing screenings for all of the new students and all of the kindergarten, 4th, and 7th graders.  Today, I was at a local middle school doing these hearing screenings with my good friend and fellow student SLP thing (we aren't technically SLPs for another 9 months), Laura.

Let me start at the beginning.  Public schools are creepy now.  When you sign in as a visitor they take your picture and print it out on your name tag.  But they don't TELL you they are going to take your picture.  So I looked like a legit creeper walking around with a what's-going-on face in my picture posted right next to my name.  Let's just say that several people asked me what I was doing there as I walked down the hall.

So here I am in a public school (which always weirds homeschoolers out), I don't understand how the cafeteria works, I look like a little lost 5th grader trying to find the bathroom and have to ask for help, and then the sinks are practically at my knees, I tried to buy my lunch with a credit card and was reminded that I was in a middle school ("we only take cash").  Oh right. Duh (such a middle school word).

And there are tons of little people!  Middle schoolers are so much littler (yes, that is the word I want to use) than I pictured in my mind.  When I see freshman in college, in my head they are equivalent to middle schoolers. No longer.   And they are very strange little people.  Somewhere between cute kindergartner and screwed up adolescent high school senior but with hint "my mom still dresses me and I hate it". 

So we're bringing these kids in about 10 at a time and giving instructions:
SLP: "ok, you're going to sit in these chairs in front us and we're going to put some head phones on you.  You are going to hear a series of beeps.  When you hear the beeps raise your hand-"
Random middle schooler (every time): "do we all raise our hands?"
SLP: "no, only the people with the head phones on.  ok, you all need to be very quiet so that everyone can hear because these beeps are really quiet and you have to listen hard."

First kids steps up, puts on the head phones.  I start pushing buttons making little beeps happen.  no hand raising. 
SLP: "do you hear anything?"
Middle Schooler: "yeah, it's like beep beep beep."
SLP: "right, I need to raise your hand, otherwise I'm going to put down that you are deaf." (I just gave you instructions)

This happens over and over again for several hours. Bring kids in, give instructions, they ask weird questions, put on head phones, don't raise hands, give instructions again, they pass/fail, sent 'em out, bring on the next load!

At one point, later in the day.  Laura and I are in a total groove. We go through 12 kids in less than 5 minutes.  This one group comes in, all boys (Ah, middle school boys).  Instead of asking the typical "do we all raise our hands" question.  This one kid raises and his hand and asks my tall, Norwegian friend, Laura, a question.  He asks: "Do you have any Indian in you?"  She stands there for a moment, and you can see that she is actually wondering if he is talking to her.  If there had been more of us standing at the front of the room she probably would've looked behind her for the person he was obviously asking this question to.  It was strange. I no longer felt like the creeper.

Anyway, I discovered middle schoolers today.  It was very weird.